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How do you parent
after divorce?

Kindra Speaks

Parenting after divorce can be challenging, but with patience, communication, and empathy, you can create a healthy and supportive environment for your children. Here are some tips on how to parent effectively after divorce:

  1. Put the children first. Remember that your children's well-being should be the top priority. Make decisions based on what is best for them, rather than letting personal feelings or conflicts guide your actions.

  2. Maintain open communication. Try to communicate openly and respectfully with your ex-spouse about parenting matters. Keep each other informed about important events or changes in the children's lives. Use tools like email, text, or shared calendars if direct communication is difficult.

  3. Co-parent as a team. It's important to present a united front as much as possible, even if you and your ex-spouse don't get along. Consistency between households can help children feel more secure. Discuss parenting decisions together, especially major ones like schooling, healthcare, or extracurricular activities.

  4. Be flexible and cooperative. Being willing to accommodate changes in the parenting schedule or arrangements when necessary can help foster a positive co-parenting relationship. Life circumstances may change, and being open to adjustments can reduce conflicts.

  5. Avoid using children as messengers. Communicate directly with your ex-spouse rather than using your children as messengers to relay information. This can put unnecessary stress on the children and may lead to misunderstandings.

  6. Keep conflicts away from the children. Try to resolve conflicts with your ex-spouse away from the children's presence. Refrain from arguing or discussing sensitive topics in front of them, as it can create anxiety and emotional distress.

  7. Be supportive of the other parent. Encourage a positive relationship between your children and your ex-spouse. Avoid making negative comments about them in front of the children. Remember, your children love both parents and need positive relationships with each.

  8. Establish consistent routines. Consistency and stability are vital for children after divorce. Try to create consistent routines in both households, such as bedtime, mealtimes, and rules, to provide a sense of stability.

  9. Take care of yourself. Divorce and co-parenting can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you take care of your mental and physical health, so you can be the best parent possible for your children.

  10. Seek help.

 

Remember, co-parenting after divorce is a learning process, and it may take time to establish a functional dynamic. Be patient with yourself and the situation, and prioritize the well-being of your children throughout the journey.

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